Let's talk about grief.
Grief is super tricky, because grief is so personal. One person's experience never exactly lines up with another person's experience. It's hard to know what to say and how you can help. The book Amelia Unabridged says, "I've heard grief compared to a tide, but tides are predictable. These feelings are not." That is spot on.
Personally, this past year has been hard, to say the least. In July, we found out that my mom's cancer had come back. Chemo would prolong her life, but not cure her. It has been an uphill battle ever since and emotionally, I'm a wreck most of the time. It is so hard to watch your parent go through hardship and to see them suffer.
The way I've been dealing is through books. Oh, and lots of tears. Books have helped me forget for just a minute and have offered an escape. My mom is still alive, she is still fighting, but I am going through the grief process nonetheless.
When I read the book The Truths We Hold, Kamala Harris talks about "anticipatory grief." Being in denial, not wanting to say goodbye, but starting to grieve even though that person is not yet gone. I've never felt so validated in my emotions.
People wonder what to say, what to ask. At times, it's exhausting having people ask how I am, how my mom is. When I read the book Float Plan, Keane's character has the best response to grief - "That fucking sucks." I laughed out loud reading it, but it's true and I want to acknowledge it. Cancer fucking sucks.
Over the past 6 months, several books have helped me cope, escape and start to heal:
Only When It's Us - @chloe_liese
Happy Ever After Playlist - Abby Jimenez
Snapped - @alexambooks
Amelia Unabridged - @ashwritesbooks
Float Plan - @trishdoller
The Truths We Hold - @kamalaharris
If you are hurting, if you are healing, if you are grieving, it's okay. It sucks. Feel all the feelings. Laugh, cry, yell, scream. But don't forget, you're not alone.
